What YOU can do to protect children and help Save the World (in about 30-45 years…)

Minnesota’s Gaps & Mitch Pearlstein’s Room Full Of Elephants - children down hill having funKARA ‘s “Call to Action
Look for reports or studies on how much your community spends on early childhood programs. Gain an understanding of the economic arguments for educating and saving children. Watch for budget cuts and let your representatives know that saving money by cutting early childhood programs is a false savings as well as unethical legislative stewardship. Educate the people in your immediate circle of influence about the value of early childhood programs.”

Founder Mike Tikkannen’s book Invisible Children (The American cycle of abuse and its cost)

Please buy or download it (free or make a donation), read it, review it and Share It.

ShiraDest
7 November, 12015 HE

Childrens Right’s as Human Rights in Popular Culture: do studies change things?

I am considering starting a study of Childrens Right’s as Human Rights in Popular Culture:

1. Astérix en Hispanie (le quatorzième album de la série)
et Astérix : Le Domaine des dieux
2. Sihirli Annem (esp. ep. 45 or 46?)
3. Harry Potter

With focus = ways that these shows empower kids to collaborate in preventing the abuse of others, and showing/understanding how this aid affects future adults ?

If such research has not yet been done,
I need to search the background literature (will need journal access via university libraries) and then figure out a methodology -a simple one like case studies.

But what would such a study add to the body of knowledge, and more importantly, to policy decision-making?
ShiraDest

review of Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence by Judith Lewis Herman

Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence--From Domestic Abuse to Political TerrorTrauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence–From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror by Judith Lewis Herman
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This book, for me, was a horrible read. Horribly accurate. Yet hopeful as well.

Horrible to see that I am not so different after all -I see myself in every comment she makes on adults who survived long-term trauma as children.
Horrible to see that my experience is not so different.
Yet hopeful to see that there are ways of solving the problem, living ‘normally’ -just that ignoring it is not one of those ways.
Most irritating.
Especially after burn-out has twice stopped me from working enough to distract myself from my distracting memories.

She mentions The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma in her 2015 epilogue, and that book seems to recommend both movement and writing -both of which helped me until I had to get back to sitting in a chair looking for a job all day long.

I seem to be stuck in Stage 2, and worst of all, I read over and over again that either in writing or in talking therapy, I must now stop “living in my head” and move back into my body. I have always found it easier to forget to eat then to bother about my body. Work has always been a useful form of escape, until now. Ok, not so much -once I get to about the intermediate level of just about anything, it seems no longer to hold my interest, and I find myself assaulted by unwanted memories that refuse to go back into their Blankety-Blank-Blank!!! boxes.
Irritatingly enough, this is the first place I have seen such a thing predicted.
She even has the gall to predict and counter my ‘unique’ perspective on my right to choose when to die, and how. Apparently this too is normal for folks like me. Huh. So much for being misunderstood. I guess she has us pegged, finally, Thank the non-existent God!! Finally someone actually documents what we go through, and tells us it is a normal response to a hideous start in life. Ok, now, on to how to fix the problem: start with saftey (years of martial arts did help some), get a good therapist, talk, write, and move your body. And remember that faking functionality will not work forever.

Peace,
Shira
27.10.12015 HE

View all my reviews

Cultural Change starts with protecting children

“Economists have calculated that every dollar invested in high-quality home visitation, day care, and preschool programs results in seven dollars of savings on welfare payments, health-care costs, substance-abuse treatment, and incarceration, plus higher tax revenues due to better-paying jobs.37”
― Bessel A. van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

I have asked myself for years how it may be possible to prevent children from being abused, not knowing that there are programs shown to prevent it.

We as a society and as a human race just have to commit to supporting these programs, that support ALL children.

ShiraDest
26 october 12015 HE (the Holocene Calendar)

Review/Revu: Purgatoire des innocents, Karine Giebel

Purgatoire des innocentsPurgatoire des innocents by Karine Giébel
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

(English after French…)

Honte d’avoir survécu, haine contre soi même de n’avoir pas su se protéger, envie abandonner. Effrayant, vachement important à lire.

Guilt for surviving, self-hated for being unable to protect yourself, just wanting to give up. Gut-wrenching, horrifically important to read.

Shira HoloceneHuman Era Destinie
2 Septembre, 12015 èH (HE: Universal Holocene Calendar)

View all my reviews

What is spirituality, and why do I care? Four reasons….

A woman came up to me, after a Zembekiko at a Greek festival in the Boston area, and asked me
‘What do you feel when you dance?’ -I had to ask her what she meant; she explained that I seemed to be in another world, as if I were having a spiritual experience, when I danced.
Upon reflection, I had to admit that she was right -the beautiful music of the Mediterranean, the Balkans, even of those wild places where men danced with swords in hand, or like Zorba, gone mad with grief -those mournful yet insistent strains pulled me into some place where life existed. A place, maybe the only place, where I felt alive.

For me, spirituality seems to be that thing that gives meaning to life, a reason to keep going day after day, eating, breathing. Why bother? Because there is beauty in this world, and each person has a particular way of looking at it -a distinctive way of seeing the world.

For me, writing makes me understand and remember how it felt to be alive, throwing myself into the air, reaching into the clouds, stretching into the breeze. When the words overwhelm me, refusing to leave me alone, writing them down is the only escape.
But then, they demand to be pondered.
The emotional work always follows the meaning -is it possible to be happy, and why does that matter? Action matters. But thoughts and feelings affect actions.

So I use four criteria to order my days:

1. An action that gives meaning to my life: either dance or write each day,
2. A thought that adds to my emotional stability each day, either comprehending my reasons for feeling/behaving a certain way, or meditation on some feeling and the causes behind that feeling, leading to a decision on how to classify and use that feeling in the future.
3. A physical action that furthers my goals for reaching my body’s fullest potential (running a marathon, for example), and
4. An action that furthers my goals for developing my fullest personal intelectual potential (reading a certain number of pages in Turkish, for example).

For me, these four things represent my personal responsibility to reach my fullest potential as a human being, spiritually (if that exists), emotionally, physically and intellectually. Now, I wonder if and how I can help others do the same?
Shira “Holocene/Human Era” Destinie
20 August, 12015 HE
Bretagne

Current Mood: calm
Current Location: A world that should be safe for ALL
Current Music: Imagine -John Lennon

Tags:

abuse, adultriteofpassage, health, jogging, marathon, meowvision, novel, survivors, tools, writing

( Cut: Semaine 11, jour 3; jeudi = session dur pour la semaine

4 km marche/course ‘J’ selon le plan, donc j’aurais du marcher/courrir, mais je trottins si lente que je me suis permets de trottiner tout les 4 km…)

J’ai commencé ventre vide et très fatiguée à cause du temps gris:
marché 5 minutes pour m’échauffer,
km 1: 12:34
km 2: 10:07
km 3: 10:10
km 4: 9:16
Totale de 4 km: 42:07 en trottinant si lentement possible sauf le dernier km.
12 minutes de marche en refroidisant.

Je remarques (mon Bescherelle, il est où ?) que j’ai senti meilleure le dernier km, quand je me suis permis de trottiner plus vite. Par contre, j’ai commencé à sentir mes gennoux aussi après quelques minutes de trot plus vite. 😦 aufff…
20.8.12015 èH )

How applying creative logic to old reflexes can prevent new mistakes

Linked to solutions for the questions raised in an earlier post on Solving Childhood Abuse Problems via Sharing a Story, I think that understanding present-day problems in light of childhood abuse  needs to be accompanied by a strict sense of what specific problems were caused by on-going feelings (shame, self-doubt, self-hatred, etc) and how those feelings, from childhood events, lead us to make poor choices now.

I suddenly understand what my principal tried to tell me when I started teaching math 
-she criticized me, saying that power is not bad, since I could not control my students.  I
 had difficulty with this, and ended up being fired since I'd lost control of 3 of my 5 classes. 
 Now I understand -I hate imposing my will on others because I had no choice as a child, and I 
cannot stand to be like 'that.'  Too bad I did not understand this in 2001.

Je viens de comprendre, tout d'un coup, ce qu'a voulu dire ma chef quand j'avais commencé 
comme prof de maths -elle m'avait rapproché en disant que le pouvoir n’était pas mal, 
parce que je n’arrivè pas a contrôler mes élèves.   J'avais du mal à l’écouter, et 
j'avais fini par être renvoyée car j'avais perdu controlle de 3 des mes 5 classes.  
Maintenant je comprends -j'ai l'horreur d'imposer ma volonté aux autres parce que 
je n'avais pas le chois quand j’étais petite, et je ne veux pas être comme ça.  
Dommage que je ne pouvais pas comprendre in 2001.

(response:)
Little by little, you will find these old reflexes, analyse tehm, and put them in the right 
place so that they no longer keep you from moving forward.

-----------------------------
 Petit à petit, tu vas trouver tous ces (mauvais) anciens réflexes, les analyser et surtout 
les ramener à leur juste valeur et ils ne t'empêcheront plus d'avancer dans la vie. 


--

Tools every adult needs to have or develop…
25.6.12015 HE

Why Share Your Story?

For similar reasons to why ALL should write a book

Protect Others via:

Protect Others: Tell Your Story (Please Help Break the Silence-Shame-Intimidation-Exploitation CYCLE …)

How can telling your story, as one friend told me, protect others?  I suppose that as one progresses, and learns

how to overcome, those lessons learned along the way can help prevent that same harm from befalling other

vulnerable people.  But how?

1.
Well, if the first childhood memory is one of sad anger, of loss, the green Caddy driving to NYC may impede, for a

lifetime, that love of large cars and of the Big Apple that so many Americans seem to boast.  If that memory is

tied to a borough where the kids rejected you, and your next memory was of being locked in a room, at 4 years of

age, hearing your mothers screams as furniture fell and things broke in the living room, as her boyfriend beat

her, how do you use this to protect others?

By coming up with a plan for teaching children to protect themselves from silence, from shame, intimidation and

from exploitation, via:

A New Adult Rite of Passage:  http://meowdate.dreamwidth.org/6177.html

2.
If one was sexually abused at 6, and told not to tell, how do we protect children from parents who can protect

neither their children nor themselves?          -Teach kids that Silence = Death, because silence can lead to

suicide, after a few years.

3.
If one took refuge from bullies by running and retreating, how to undo that shame?  -Teach kids that we ALL have a

right to our personal boundaries, to equal bodily respect, and to equal human dignity.

4.
If one was refused self-defense because “young ladies don’t fight” but they can come home in bruises that will be

ignored, how does one learn to stand up to intimidation?  -Teach kids that if you stand up, you might or might not

be hurt today, but if you cower you WILL agonise for years to come.

5.
If one was physically and sexually abused as a teenager, with all the blame heaped on a 15 year old, how to learn

not to exploit nor be exploited?  -Gandhi and Frankl cite adult choice and power: UpHold your Values and Create.

6.  Only then is one ready to be An Adult: http://adulthoodchallenge.dreamwidth.org/318.html

(This is the real answer to Millie’s question:
https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/7591180-answer-to-millie-s-question-on-education)

((and a summary of the Adulthood thread: http://meowdate.dreamwidth.org/tag/adultriteofpassage))

ShiraDest,
April, 12015 HE (Holocene/Human Era)

(original post at: http://meowdate.dreamwidth.org/12873.html earlier today….)

Cities of the Plain: Torture in Sodom as anti-immigration policy

This is my personal blog.  My ‘Tell Your Story’ Community Cooperation Blog is here: https://network23.org/communitycoop/ or duplicated here: http://meowdate.dreamwidth.org/profile

This post on my ShiraDest personal blog comes from my “Creator: Friend or Foe?” practice-novel series based on Midrashim which I began as a sort of stream-of…

Cities of the Plain

“So you are back, Young Light Bearer. To what do we owe the honor of this visit? Coem to renew hostilties?”

“No, you are quite good enough at that yourself. I am here to bring a certain set of cities in a low-lying plain to your attention, since you seem ont to have noticed. Down in the valey between that lovely nearly inland sea and the two rivers.”

Not wanting to seem out of touch with his creations, the Anc warior asked, expecting her not to know of the other civilization:

”Do you refer to the two rivers with the valley which is watered by the large platteau, between the rivers and the largest ocean, on the eastern side?”

“No, as you know very well, I refer to the smaller town-states in the western set of cities the human beings are developing. The ones from which you must be getting growing numbers of reports of the lawlessness they are instituting.”

-”Lawlessness? On the contrary, they are doing quite well with the legal institutions on the western side of that platteau. They have indendent kingdoms which are making cooperative alliances, you should like that, and developing more indivudually than their eastern counterparts, who are building their civilizations more along communal lines, putting their people in a situation requireing them to go along with the group or risk being the nail that sticks up and must be hammered down. What could be so bad about allowing each person his freedom, withing the set of laws they all have to obey? You yourself as I recall seemed to advocate some such system, no?”

“how dare you, you Ancient Hypocrite, turn my words against me. Listne, this city is taking individual freedom way too far, letting people do whatever they want to those who are not part of their group, and severly abusing their guests, whom they know they ought to be respecting. These laws you seem to admire that they are passing are requing things which make a mockery of legal proections, like the law that says that any guest in the town must fit in a bed of a standard size, and be comfortable in that bed.”

”and what objection do you have to making a guest comfortable, pray tell?”

“you really have not been keeping up with all of the reports, have you? Their idea of comfort is to ensure that each guest fits the bed by placing shorter guests on the rack, to stretch the body until it is long enough, and dead enough, to fit the bed, or doing their taller guests the favor of amputating both feet, and the legs, inch by painful inch, until the formerly tall guests is short enough to fit comfortably as you say, in the bed. All quite lawful, and all quite dangerious. If this type of behavior spreads, then eventually both of the developing sets of civilizations, west and esat, will eventually come to legalize such crimes against outsiders, possibly even requiring every citizen of the town, as a new law now proposes there, to personally involve himself in torturing any guest allowed into the town borders. They hink that this tactic will frighten all strangers away from visiting, spying out, and potentially attacking their towns, and that is how their socalled Town Fathers are coercing the population into passing this new law. The torture can be inflicted on the stranger evne if that stranger is a guest of an inhabitant of the town, and is especially recommended to take the form of rape, in the case of male visitors to the town, in order to reduce the stranger´s social status to that of a slave so that he can never lead an army against them. That is if any strangers to the town survive their visits at all.”

”Well, this has not been in my reports. So the proposed laws must not have taken effect yet. If they are using sexuality as a torture tool now, then I will investigate…”

interrupting the ”which part of this did you miss in the reports from the first newly born human man? He was doing it back then already! Why else do you think his sister, whom you allowed to take as his so-called wife, ended up reviving the Virgin thought-form?”

-”but this is different, this is a legally instituted form of sexual torture specifically meant to prevent my code of hospitality from being practiced! That is wrong!”

-”Oh, yes, it is wrong when your precious laws are used to torture a man, but not when a man tortures his so-called wife in the privacy of his own home! You Great Hypocrite! This experiment should be ended for the sake of all of our decency, both yours and mine and theirs. These human beings are getting to be almost as bad now, as immoral, torturing maiming and killing as they were before that fortuitous Great Death they had a short while ago. This needs to stop now before all of the human beings are required by law to torture one another, or shall we say before the strong are required to torture the weak, in the name of your developing legal system and your precious non-interference.”

-”Yes, you are quite right, I must go down and see about this. I will consult with some humans on the ground there, and as you can see you are not the only one to have taken a human being for a friend. I have my own friend thre with whom I shall consutlt, note. If this is so, then I will taek steps to remedy the situation.”

-”be sure you do, because if you do not, then I will be sure to have it taken care of in some other appropriate manner.”

Perplexed, the Ancient Warrior sent for the Light Bearer through one of the supervising guardians:

“How could this have happened, that not even one native or long term resident fo the city was good? Not all could have developed this way, surely. What went wrong, that only the recent visitor newly taken up residence was able to be saved, and that not even with the woman he married from the town. How did it come to this? Even my friend argued that there must have been at least 10 decent people in the city. This is inconceivable.”

“It happens with places like this, concentrated power and wealth attracts a certain type of person, keeping them there, building up a culture of competition and dominance. After a while,” the Light Bearer replied,

“When a culture of a place becomes the norm, however wrong, over time, it is taken as immutable. There are simply too many ingrained patterns, too many people of power setting the standard, too many people accepting the status quo, unable to reverse the dominant culture. After a while, even the kind people, who want to do good, come to believe that things cannot be changed. So many of the residents, such a high proportion of the policy and trend setters are so callous that the very culture of the city, the standards of kindness and hospitality, upon which morality is built, are set so low that even the smallest kindness becomes a great burden in the eyes of all those who have been raised or lived for a long time in that place. Callousness becomes so natural that it is taken for granted, and a small gesture of good will is first suspect, then taken for granted, then seen as weakness, and the standards of living become set in what appears normal, even right. When everyone around you was killing, Ancient Warrior, was it not natural to kill? When all whom you know are brutal, does not kindness seem to be weak, or foolish?” the Light Bearer paused, awaiting the acknowledgment of his experience before continuing, “So it was with this place, so influential that all of the towns around it took on the same culture of mean-spirited, callous rushing around, a constant hurry to do first one thing, then another, to keep up with all that had to be done, lest their lives fall into the constantly threatening calamity of debt and powerlessness, in a place where the vulnerable had neither food to eat nor a place to live. The fear became pervasive, even for those who were relatively well-off. In the end, even those who wanted to be kind, believed themselves to be good people, in the end behaved with cruelty. However kind in their eyes, by other standards, more universal standards, they were cruel, but they could not see things that way, and in the end, not knowing any differently, with the standard of kindness at so low a level, even ended up defending the system under which they lived. When that was what they were taught to be good and practical, they could not believe in any other way, and thus sealed their doom.”

(Hopefully some insights may be gleaned from it, if anyone is interested.)

ShiraDestinie

Universal Date: Tuesday, October 3. 12014 H.E. (Holocene Era)

http://universalcalendar.eu5.org/