2010-07-20 09:52:00 explaining Tisha B´Av as important for depression relief… I was telling my mother about the restrictions upon listening to music and eating meat which progressed from the Three Weeks into the 9 Days, and the 25 hour fast which is now upon us, marking the end of the period of mourning for the destruction of both temples, expulsion from Spain, Krystalnacht (taken as the start of the Shoah/Holocaust), and many other calamities throughout Jewish history which have taken place or had their impetus in this three week interval, or on this day itself, according to Rabbinical tradition. While there are many areas with which I take issue or simply ignore Rabbinical tradition, for me it is not so much religious as more pragmatic from a community standpoint, the observance of this tradtional time of mourning. Interestingly enough, when the 17th of Tammuz occurred, it hit me that I actually had not been listening to music recently in any case, so this restriction was pretty light. Not shaving on the other hand was a nuisance, but then I thought, it is an apt response to the heaviness one may feel in the heart when some tragedy strikes and even eating becomes difficult. For an entire community to willingly descend into what is normally the realm of the seriously depressed mindset, travelling progressivly from one stage of depression into a further level of depression, even in a simulated manner, may make it easier for those who have never experienced such feelings of hopelessness to understand what it is like, in some small way, and gain a greater level of empathy for those who at times cannot even formulate the words to ask for help, or for company, or for just a smile or a few minutes spent out in the sun. By contrast, for those who are suffering from depression, the 7 weeks of consolation and comforting passages that are read after the Torah readings are a strong message that it is necessary to work sometimes to be happy, not in an ephemeral peppy pop culture happy sort of way, but to work at achieving a sense of balance, and to work at believing that life is indeed worthwhile and good for living. Sometimes it takes alot of work. But with the lifting of the restrictions after the fast on music, parties, shaving, eating meat, pleasure baths, etc, a strong message comes that these are all good things, and that it is necessary and even good to comfort oneself, even when one sometimes feels too tired or too worthless, that these feelings are false indicators of an also passing set of images which must be broken through, but using love for oneself rather than punishment. Thus the 3 weeks of passages of denunciation followed by 7 weeks (thanks to Nechama for explaining this back at Beit Midrash) of comforting passages. We are still within a time of introspection, and that is a good thing, but that time will soon give way to one in which (the holiday of Sukkot comes most strongly to mind) where we are actually commanded to be joyous. This set of down and then up mirrors the cycle of life, which is a healthy one. Have an Easy Fast Peace 0 hungry 2028 2010-07-21 13:52:00 Cornbread Alef Bet … tasters?? Having reviews from several friends now on my cornbread, which is apparently even better than I myself think, according to my friends, I am wondering how to bake corn bread in the shapes of the letters of the Alef Bet in order to use it as part of an incentives/consequences system for my 5th grade Hebrew School class which I am looking forward to teaching in September. They should, I think but am not sure, know all but 3 of the letters so this should be mostly review and I hope to quickly finish the Alef Bet and move on to more substantial Hebrew. So, suggestions on moulding …. taste-testers and help baking anyone? 🙂 Ah, welcome to creating a Community of Learners, using food… What other way could there be? And if they misbehave, I get to have an additional piece of corn bread for every minute they act up…. hmmm, incentive? Maybe not… 🙂 Peace, ShiraRead, Write, Dream, Teach ! ShiraDest 22 February, 12016 HE

2010-03-16 23:19:00 Same-sex marriage is about community committment/Matrimonio Gay es por dedicado Communitario I had an interesting discission on the bus today with a gentleman who began opposing same-sex marriage on the grounds that the human race would end, and parted promising to continue the dialogue, and admitting to seeing another point of view. I began by pointing out that since statistically only 10percent of men and 5 percent of women prefer same-sex partners, the human race is not about to end if we refuse to reprosuce. I then compared prohibitting gay marriage to prohibitting mixed race marriages, with which he strongly disagreed. I rebutted with the point that both interracial and gay marriages were prohibbited on moral and biblical grounds, and that the importance in both cases, human rights aside, is that marriage is about committment in the context of community. All marriages strengthen community by allowing the community to support the couple and encouraging the couple to commit their contributions and energy to the community. This gives both the community and the couple a vested interest and a stake in the success of the other. Interestingly enough he responded that people need to talk more about these things openly, which is exactly what my friends had said in spanish as we discussed the immigration law reform, at the bus stop! :-). God talking to me in stereo again Tammy!!
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Hablabamos del matrimonio como medio de dar fuerzas ala comunidad atravez de apoyar ala pareja con la meta de ayudarles en dedicarse a la comunidad. Tb dejimos que hay que hablar abiertamente de esas cosas todos para llegar a un acuerdo comunitario… Read, Write, Dream, Teach ! ShiraDest 22 February, 12016 HE

2010-12-30 21:18:00 First DC Tour Guiding experience -A Success!! I spent two weeks guiding two friends, one from Boston and the other from South Carolina, around Washington, DC.   It was a far more intensive experience than I had ever expected!  Creating and coordinating their two iteneraries, fixing problems with the hotel, dealing with the physical needs and limitations of all of the tour members (myself included) presented more challenges than just making the tours themselves enertaining.  Some things I have learned include: — 
always explain and warn non-locals about the escalators in the Metro stations for the height, entry and exits, slipperiness, etc so that they are not surprised. 
warn people about the Black Squirrels in case they have never seen them before remember that an incline to some is a hill to others and warn folks ahead of time inspect footgear and recomment insoles or gel pads explain the Metro and DC grid plan layout before the first tour only only only schedule 2 events per day!!  and remember to build in breaks during those two events inthe day!! build in rest for yourself (the Tour Guide) for a couple of days after getting all your tourists to the airport or bus so that you can reflect on the experience and rest up afterward!! 
 Read, Write, Dream, Teach !
 ShiraDest 
22 February, 12016 HE

2011-01-30 17:00:00 Multi-Ethnic Evening of Song on 30 January, Come One, Come ALL!!!! See comments below for more details on our 2nd Eve. of Song, following up on the highly successful first one last month!! We will again be singing more Spirituals, Jewish songs, several songs in Spanish, and other types of songs as well, depending on the mix of folks who show up. Please come sing with us again!! Shira — We are planning an Evening of Song at my place on Sunday, 26 December (day after xmas) with a friend who sings in her choir and will be visiting then. She will be singing “Behave in the Classroom” to the tune of “Wade in the Water” and we will also some Jewish songs, several songs in Spanish, and possibly also some other types of songs as well, depending on the mix of folks who show up. I have been asked to sing in Hebrew (so I pick Kol ha Olam Kulo), Spanish (I pick Dos Gardenias Para Ti), Ladino (Los Bilbilicos), and Turkish (I will sing Eyvallah) Please come and sing with us Shira 0 Smyrnaiiko Minore accomplished castellano, strategy, personal goals and observations, hebrew, dc,  
2010-12-18 20:31:00  
Dvar Tikkun (talk) was a Resounding Success I modifiied the talk on the fly as I gave it last night to conform with the slightly unexpected introduction I was given by the coordinator, and it turned out quite well!  We had about 200 people attending, and I got so many congratulation on the talk that I really got a wonderful energy boost.  I also (with help from a lovely friend) gave out all of the handouts I included with the talk (many thanks to Stefan for making the photocopies). I will post the talk handout on my Bath.Academia.edu page…  (see the right hand sidebar…) Looking forward to giving more talks next year! Shira 0 Gracias a La Vida accomplished strategy, thesis  
 2010-01-30 17:00:00  
Second Multi-Ethnic Evening of Song: 30 January The next one will be on Sunday January 30th, some location and time, and all are cordially invited to RSVP and attend. Those who are on my FaceBook Page can find details here: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=172468162788037&num_event_invites=0 Peace, Shira 0 Ojala que llueve cafe accomplished strategy 
  Read, Write, Dream, Teach !
 ShiraDest 
22 February, 12016 HE

gracias, Heberto…

A Sense of Honor by James Webb
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I was reflecting on this book, which I read back when I was at the Naval Academy (I think all the plebes in 2nd co. were ordered to read it, certainly our youngsters talked about it with us, but I think the 2nd classmen, class of ’90, were the ones who were really big on the book for some reason. I think that the book was published in 86, which is when they would have started plebe summer…). I told my manager at that there was nothing for me to learn from the USNA experience and she told me to think about it some more. Well, I see that she was right. But it’s only just coming into being, this lesson. It needs to finish germinating but I can already see the seed of an idea, the lessons to be learned. Amazing that it can take 20 years almost to learn these lessons. My own sense of honor back at that time demanded that I stand up to several upperclassmen telling me to be gung-ho about unneccessry killing and singing cadences about napalm sticking to kids. The upperclassmen decided that I was too squeemish to be in ‘their’ navy.
Anyway, thinking on this book I read back then, “A Sense of Honor” brought me to some comments about honor, and this one was particularly interesting. He feels honor is a ‘better’ man’s morality, but I see that as a bit snobbish personally. I prefer to see honor as a way of living that upholds the dignity of all.

(This LJ post was made back in 2008. Twenty years after I left Annapolis. Now 28 yrs…
Looking back, now I see that much of the criticisms of the upperclassmen and my classmates regarding my brain-dumping was a result of my then undiagnosed PTSD, which I’d still like to know whether all those psych tests we took on Induction Day showed in any way…)
Read, Write, Dream, Teach !

ShiraDest
22 February, 12016 HE

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(Looking back, now I know that my mother was selfish, not brave…) Read, Write, Dream, Teach ! ShiraDest 22 February, 12016 HE 2008-09-13 13:27:00 “karamsar”: nagative or realistic? I was thinking of a Turkish flatmate who told me I was ‘karamsar’ or pessimistic, one day. We were discussing the issue of marriage and children, and while I was admitting that the desire to have a committed partner with whom I share mutual goals, dreams and aspirations was strong for me, I do not intend to bring any children into this world. She asked why, when I’d expressed a desire to adopt, and have enjoyed teaching both children and adults, and I agreed with a favorite quote from the film “The Rock”, where Nicolas Cage says anyone thinking of bring a child into this world “is coldly considering an act of cruelty” -and I proceeded to argue that with such a large number of already unwanted children in this world, there was no excuse for anyone to bring new lives into this uncertain and demonstrably unfair world. She then told me that I was (apparently) hopeless and fairly abruptly ended the conversation. I wonder how to juxtapose this with a comment made by another friend, here in Britain, that hope seems to be the human condition. I certainly would not be here if enslaved ancestors like my gr. g.g.g.g grandmother Martha Givens Porter had taken the attitude that I have always taken. I have never understood why an enslaved woman would allow herself to give birth to a child knowing the fate that child would share, but then again, her son, my g.g…grandfather James Ward Porter was born free, and went on to pass legislation in reconstruction era Georgia attempting to help Negroes. So her hope rang true, but how many generations did it take before that was the case, and can it justify the suffering of the generations born before him? Not to mention his own struggles with Jim Crow. Then again, he was born, and that gave him a choice, I suppose, despite not having had the initial choice before birth. Nowadays I feel a great deal of hope, yet I remain opposed to using my own body to bring a new life into this world, because I lack the ability to ask that soul whether it wants to be born into this world, and I do (as a Mexican friend recently told me) refuse the responsibility to use my power as a woman to create new life without knowing what the fate of the person whom I bring into this world might be. I lack the courage that even my own mother had, and I feel slightly ashamed. Yet I wish to raise up and empower those who are already here without hope, rather than to create an additional mouth to feed. Others will no doubt always want to bring new lives into this world, and perhaps they will consider my position, even as I consider theirs. Peace, shiir (Now, I see that my mother -thanks to an emphatic statement by my keen-minded cousin, is indeed NPD, and had me, as all narcisists have kids, for her own purposes…)Read, Write, Dream, Teach ! ShiraDest 22 February, 12016 HE

2008-06-20 14:05:00 Happy Past Experiences Alot of my past is best left forgotten, but I am grateful to have had a Great Grandmother who adopted us (my mom’s mother died when grandma Laverne was 8) and looked after me when I was very small. 
That was Grandma Marie. She always saved me The Mini Pages from the Washington Post and seeing her was always a peaceful and interesting time. She told me the story of my great great grandfather the crazy Cherokee Hayes Wheeler Mayo who went missing for three days when the Maine blew up. The Navy apparently thought he was dead until he turned up drunk with some interesting and apparently inplausible excuse that Grandma Marie seemed to think was characteristically colorful and odd. She also mentioned my taking somewhat after him, being a ‘rambunctious child’ and never staying still. She always had a smile when she told me about him, and frequently looked at me with that same slightly mischievious and ever so slightly almost shocked look. It’s hard to explain, but I always felt that she stood somewhat in awe of him, whilst looking just a tiny bit askance at the same time, and wondered just how closely I took after him. Whatever the case, I nearly felt like he was a hero as she told funny stories about him which I’ve forgotten details to, but remember the love with which she told all of his descendents about him. Grandma Marie, to my knowledge, never had children of her own, but my grandmother, mom, and I were like her own descendents, and I am proud of that. She taught me how to sew on an old black Singer treadle sewing machine, stitching the words I Love You onto the cloth, explaining how she had been a seamstress and her husband, Adolphus Johonson, a very kind man, had been a tailor. She once told me to make sure to carry at least $50 at all times because one day years ago Grandpa Johnson had been arrested for Jay Walking and he didn’t have the money to make bail. She laughed as she told me how she had to go down to the jail and get grandpa out, lecturing him on the way home, as she was known to do. She was such a strong personality, and so loving and bright. 
And a wonderful Great Grandma. 
 Marie Nash Johnson. 
Bright Blessings, shir. 
 Read, Write, Dream, Teach !
 ShiraDest 
22 February, 12016 HE