in the General´s West Point address, which I first read and found so inspiring as a cadet in both the Civil Air Patrol and Dunbar´s Jr. ROTC batallion. The text is available here: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/fr/1068922/posts That speech and the ideals it represents may be what got me kicked out of Annapolis, in fact. When I arrived at the Naval Academy, I expected the ideas I had been taught as a cadet to continue to the Brigade of Midshipmen and to the officer corps: Nobless Oblige, defend and support the weak, work together to serve the ideals that make our democracy great. But I found a very different reality there, and in questioning, earned the ire of both my upper classmen and several of my classmates to boot. Contemplating the meaning of friendship, and the twilight of one´s life, I find that I have been told that I was out of touch, or had my head in the clouds, or lived life as the world should be rather than as it really is, been called a Crusader, over and over. The courage of my convictions remains with me, yet I tire of the struggle. What do I want from my life? Only to make that contribution which only I can make, to be a bridge, to help re-create the cooperation which existed, not only between communities here in DC, but to inspire people to recall and rebuild what was old Al Andalus, and the cooperation of La Convivencia. To gather and encourage people of good will and decency to promote cooperation and community for the sake of us all. Peace, Shira 2013-06-18 My overall Mission: To build a community of friends comitted to making a lasting difference in the world. I try to live so that others do not have to suffer. Universal Health Care, a “http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UifIPnDaCVA” Basic Income for all, and more Intentional Community would all go a long way, I believe, toward creating a more caring and healthy world. On an individual level, I am forming the DC Eco-Tourism Cooperative (Still true…) Read, Write, Dream, Teach ! ShiraDest 22 February, 12016 HE

I suppose you have never lived through a situation where death became preferrable, and the situation had been created by people who claimed to be helping you? I have, and believe me, risking your life to go somewhere else and help your family live is preferable to living in a war zone, as El Salvador and much of Latin America have been, due to the democratically elected governments that our CIA has a habit of regularly otherthrowing. So, in a way, someone did hold a gun to their heads and force them to come up north. It was US.

Also, although this was not part of our original conversation, those who know me, know that I do not wear jewlery of any kind. When my partner many years ago wanted to buy me diamond earrings (when I have never had any pierced body parts in my life, and pointed out that I did not intend to pierce my ears for this dubious gift), I refused. Possibly contributing to the demise of the relationship. I pointed out then, those fifteen years ago, that conflict diamonds were a stain on the conscience of the world, but apparently it needed to be dramatized in cinematic form with the new flashier name of blood diamonds for anyone to notice.

Thank you for making my points.
Shira

This was written 20 years after the events described. Even then, I couldn’t eat for days. 20 years spent repressing this memory…

“Honor Stolen, Honor to be Avenged”

He had humbled me, taking my honor from me, declaring me his wife. Taken from me my virtue, my obedience, taking my reason and even my will, nearly my life. When I could withstand the pain no longer, and cared not whether I lived or died, as he said I would, I cried out. Not to his God, but to my teacher, a woman of valor. Now, five years later, he had seen me, telling me he forgave me for ruining his life, and putting his arm around me, told me that he wanted me back. That I was still, and always would be, his. Destined to have his children. Destined to obey him. I said, feeling the stiff collar of my uniform, that I had always only wanted this, his arm around me, his affection, this was all I ever wanted. And he sneered, pushing me away, anger and punishment written in his face, as when he pushed my head toward his manhood, ordering me to put my mouth where I would rather have vomitted. He had pushed me then, too, away, but then fallen atop me, not stopping until the pain was all I could see. Now, the pain was emotional, rejected by the one person who had taken my honor, and now derisively denigrated me, refusing even to respect the rank I wore, so hard earned, on my sharply creased Class A daily dress uniform. My status as an officer meant nothing, as had my pain, my wishes, my belief in his promises, his prophecies, my obedience, to him. My faith, never enough, was now entirely broken, symbolized by the officer´s rank on my uniform. I straightened my posture, lifted my head, as I boarded the train, and he watched, leering.

Now, five years later, in a library, where I had always thought myself safe, here he was. Appearing out of nowhere, advancing toward me, demanding to be heard. I fled his angry eyes, his voice, that same tone, the same smell as each time he would grapple me to the floor, my face still stinging from his slaps, pressing the breath out of me as he reminded me never to question him, the pain beginning afresh, grating as he tore in, once again, to where he hoped to force my body to bear him fruit. I ran to the stairs, my books thrown in my bag hastily over my shoulder, as I prayed he could not follow before I found shelter, reliving the feeling of his weight crushing me into the floor, searing my birth canal, now forever closed. I fled, humiliated, vowing to leave even at the cost of losing a scholarship that had granted me life, not knowing how I would survive now, not halfway through my studies. This scholarship had given me hope, purpose, a way to live. Now, the monster who was to protect me, get me out of the frying pan and into school, putting me into a caldron of his own instead, had returned, for me. How many times would he return, seeming more angry each time, and why now, when I was nearly on track again, steering my course to a life of meaning, succeeding and planning to live. To give back to the community, contribute and make others proud. Where could I go that he would not find me, again advancing upon me? Not in a uniform, this time, I felt lost, as I ran, without any cover, source of strength to fall back upon, to hide from this disgrace.

poisoning myself…

FaithOverFearOfLosingAnger

-It´s what´s been wearing you out all of this fucking time, eating away at you.

-Yes, I know, I knaw at my insides every goddamned day, and I know that! I can see it. but that does not change the fact that I still feel the pain, and am afraid of losing the anger, caving in to the fear, and bowing down to this abominable system, becoming a vacuous fool just like everybody else. Like everybody else who needs a cause to look for, some good deed to do, and merely joins a campaign or volunteers for the advocacy group of the month, raises money for some group that helps those affected by what he or she also has, cancer, whathave you. Even in our giving we are selfish, and I do not want to devolve to that.

-So your anger gives you a real cause, a worthy cause, something real against which to do battle.

-My anger gives me a reason to hope. To keep going, to fight for solutions to the real problems, the underlying causes that everyone else is overlooking, out of ignorance or often sheer unwillingness. It gives me focus, and strength.

-It is tearing you apart. You must see that. You fear of losing the sense of outrage is holding you back from living. Yes, accepting that this abuse happened, and letting go of the anger, even letting go of your pain, can be a frightening thing, for a kind hearted person, which you are. I understand your fear of losing that righteous anger, and of accepting the world as a mediocre and squalid place. I get that, how without trying to change it, releasing your pain can be almost as bad as denying the pain of the abuse itself. The fear of becoming a vapid and vacous superficial part of the ME and NOW world, like the rest of society is understandble, can make becoming a vigilante almost seem like a good idea by contrast, at times. But you have to let it go. You are letting them win. Dead or alive, for over twenty years now, you have been the one suffering and envenenandote, poisoning yourself from the inside out, feeding on the bitter wormwood of your own abuse. It has to end, and only you can make that happen.

-But how?! How to let go of the pain and anger without becoming a simpering idiot like the majority of people? How to keep a focus on making this world a place worth living when for many people it is not, and never will be? How to accept that one has been given a measure of good luck, through intelligence or fortitude or beauty, and that these things are not a curse, meant to drive home all the more the ultimate worthlessness of life? How can one enjoy when there is so much suffering and evil out there? And it really is out there. Not just for me. It did not happen only to me, but to many people like me. Vulnerable, stuck, apart, outside, other. My brains and will and looks may have bought me entrance into another world, but only partially, and no one I have ever met both understands and can withstand my past. So how do I ever manage to stop being alone when everyone is afraid of me, because of what I have survived?

-That my friend, is where faith comes in. You must have faith in something, be it G-d, your Creatrix, the Universe, or even Linus´ bedraggled security blanket. You need something to hold on to besides the cold but true logic that this world is a random and capricious place in which anything can happen. I know, I know, -holding up a hand -Hear me out. Even if it is true, and this world is a place where fairness is often a fairy tale, but you still need to have hope, and that is what faith can give you. Hope in the idea of hope. Keep trying, because if you give up, the world will never get any better. That paradigm shift you are looking for needs a visionary to put the idea out there, ready for when the time comes, and it actually becomes possible. Keep striving.

2013-03-14 16:14:00 sign up to take Free Greek Folk dance lessons in 6 short sessions soon! I will be teaching this short spring class iff enough students sign up: so come on down to Takoma Park! Peace, Shira 2010-01-22 17:28:00 Free form spiritual dance proposal becoming Mediterranean Folk Dance proposalJustification for dance classes in general: Dance in many cultures is a powerful form of prayer which evokes both the divine and the divinity within each of us. Objective of classes: Accomplishing these objectives should be spiritually uplifting for students and instructor, as dance is a mixture of movement and meditation, and also often a form of prayer.  In this spirit, these classes are proposed as a way of bringing the quality of mindfulness to our movement and bringing movement to our prayers. Justification for classes (Israeli, Greek and Bulgarian dances): The traditional folk dances of the Greek Islands, the Peloponnese, and the mainland have long been a means of enduring the hardships of occupation and loss, as well as celebrating the joys of life. The folk dances of Israel come out of the Jewish tradition which celebrates the bitter-sweet taste of life in both the exile from a beloved homeland and the struggles to build a sense of home in an unstable world.   Both of these traditions can be heard and felt in the sad and then unstoppable strains of traditional Bulgarian music, mingling the melodies of eastern Europe with the weaving steps of the Mediterranean Sea in a union of spiritual movement which recalls both the heartbreak and the excitement of living in a turbulent world. Folk dance classes will demonstrate the shared spiritual connection via traditional dance among these three areas, illustrated through dance postures and leadership roles. Classes will also provide both exercise for the body and exercise for the mind as we stretch, move, and discuss the meaning of each dance. Students beginning with no background in Mediterranean folk dance will learn the essential basic steps of all Mediterranean dances, common hand holds, and variations on common basic steps, and specific individual dances including Zemer Atik, Misirlou, and the Tsamiko and for advanced students, Kalamatianos. The first four classes will cover basics and Kalamatianos will be taught beginning the second month of classes after review of each basic dance. Students should all be able to follow and eventually lead each dance. Opportunities to attend Greek festivals and Klezmer events will be shared on an ad-hoc basis to encourage practice of dance skills and enjoyment with groups of experienced dancers in social settings. In this spirit, these classes are proposed as a way of bringing the quality of mindfulness to our playful times, and awareness of the spiritual in our celebration of joy and even the celebration of our sorrows, as the Rabbis say that all joyful events must also recall a touch of sorrow as well.
Yassou and LChaim Shira Destinie Jones –  
2011-03-29 10:13:00  
Handout from my March 27th Talk on Community Empowerment Through TimeBanks
Marriage Coop
 Each single person would meet with the volunteer Matchmaker, describing the kind of person he or she is looking to marry. The Matchmaker then picks several potential matches and shows them to the single person and that person’s Marriage Panel, who agree on a person to meet for a date.  The Marriage panel then meets with the Marriage panel of the other single, and if both Panels and the Matchmaker agree, then the two singles should meet, then talk to their panels, and see if they want to continue getting to know one another.  After a certain period of time, they get married, and there are automatically at least 8 people who have agreed to take on the role of close community members in supporting this couple. That way both the single person and the community get voice and committment in the process of creating healthy sustainable marriages, which strengthen both the individual and the community.     This is meant to be fully inclusive of the entire community, as even the Village Idiot has an important role in every community.  Even people who were formerly abusive, or formerly abused, can and should form part of the Cooperative, given strong supervision and support from their Marriage Panel members.  Some singles will have to be vetted and supervised, taught and coached, perhaps monitored, to ensure compliance with non-abusive norms, so that they learn to both give and ask for their needs to be met in healthy ways.  This strengthens both them and the community, and forms a more inclusive and reslient society which can channel and help the flowering of each person´s gifts and potential, through fostering healthy contributive cooperative relationships both personal and communal.  This is what community is all about. 2013-03-21 11:02:00 
 DC ecotourism cooperative still forming -cyclists still needed Dear strong cyclists, I have been seeking, for some months now, about 20 to 25 cyclists strong  enough to pull two rotund tourists up the hills of Georgetown, so that we can form a workers cooperative, tentatively entitled the DC Eco Tourism Cooperative. The idea is that rather than using the large 55 person motor coaches that tourists frequently take through the city, we can build or string together a multiple person bicycle, similar to the PediCabs, but bigger, or a group of pedi-cabs, with one or more Licensed Tour guides, such as myself, to narrate. I am happy to teach willing cyclists and collaborate under my license in order to maximize the potential of this collaborative endeavor. As a cooperative, we will all decide on schedules, routes, tours, and fees, and share equally in the profits. Please see my current list of available walking tours, and particularly my Underground Railroads Tour, which covers alot of ground, and typically has to use both bus and metro. I would like for thta to become a Pedi-cab tour. 
(None of these worked out as planned, but I did get some interesting comments…) Read, Write, Dream, Teach !
 ShiraDest
23 February, 12016 HE

2013-03-01 15:14:00 Sunday afternoon movie and community discussion -Babylon 5 Come join me and the community this Sunday, March 3rd, sometime in the afternoon, to watch and then discuss the Community Activist Values in the first movie (whichever one we decide that is!) of Babylon 5?! 🙂 « The Gathering » has been recommended first, as a pre-quel to the series, although it does not get into the social justice themes, it is good as SF, I see B5 as a strong proponent, in tv media form, of socialist constructs, ala the Dock Workers’Strike episode, and of social justice, as it explores social class disparities, as well as religious freedoms, via the Ivanova Shiva episode, and episodes like « And the Rock Cried Out », as well as the Free Byron episodes.  Explorations of social  justice and loyalty, when duty demands revolt and why, are covered through out the series, and I like to use that to discuss ways in which we can structure our society in a more just and egalitarian fashion. Please rsvp via FaceBook if you are on FB, here: https://www.facebook.com/events/143292759172007/ otherwise reply to this post or LJ message me, please, to rsvp. Peace, and Shabbat Shalom, ShiraDest
(This event generated interesting comments on leyning via Klingon…)
Read, Write, Dream, Teach !
ShiraDest
23 February, 12016 HE

People certainly should respect the difficult work that teachers do. This would probably be made easier if our children and adults understood what it takes to teach a person a useful and neccesary skill, from start to finish. Hence my proposal for a modern universal Rite of Passage. What we need our children to prove, upon recognition of adulthood, is not their prowess in battle or the hunt, not their virility, not their adeptness at social maneuvering, but their ability to contribute meaningfully to society by teaching another member of the community, from level 0, how to do something that is both difficult and absolutely neccessary in our society today. By requiring our children to teach some other person, child or adult, a needed life skill, over the course of about a year, this pre-adult shows persistence, perseverence, discernment, and of course, the key skill in question.  A useful side effect of this is also that it would effectively increase (dramatically) the number of available tutors, and also lead to every adult in our society coming away with an understanding of the challenges involved in teaching anyone anything non-trivial. Thus we provide an esteem building excercise and respect building accomplishmen all in one go, which we then reward with full adult status, whatever the age of the adolescent in question.  This obviously assumes that the kid has had opportunity to prove his or her good judgement in other ways as well, prior to seeking said recognition. This might help as one step of a series of steps implemented by and through local communities which could lead to more long-term thinking in society at large, given a critical mass and good faith in the ability of human kind to rise above our instincts, and learn to cooperate.
Peace, Read, Write, Dream, Teach !
ShiraDest
23 February, 12016 HE

Loved giving Spanish speaking tour last night, looking for Shabbat Minchah minyan committments So to update, I have been chanting, love that and loved the step-on tour I gave to Spanish-speakers last night, had fun, and am looking,at Rabbi Seidel’s request, for folks to help us make a minyan on Shabatot at Tifereth Israel to daven (pray) Mincha (the afternoon service). 
Shira  
2012-12-14 07:15:00
 Looking forward to reading Torah tomorrow morning at the Women’s Rosh Chodesh service 2012-12-15 07:16:00 Chanting this morning in support of women of the wall was fantastic.
(Glad to have used my love of languages to teach and to support other women)
  Read, Write, Dream, Teach !
 ShiraDest
23 February, 12016 HE

… when I started writing my first NaNo novel
2012-11-06 16:46:00  
2,005 words written today, working cooperation into this novel …  
Yes, writing is addictive, but I also need to be getting my other work done.
 Like my 
1. marathon training (just starting my first couple of miles all over again), 
2. gettting to services every morning and then checking my horrifically overwhelming email,  8am 
3. continuing to work through all of the Psalms in Psukei D'Zimrah (the prelude to the morning prayers) so that I understand them all completely, 9am 4.  polishing my Turkish for the exam 10am 
5. leyning (Chanting Torah) practice for the week (my goal is to learn one new verse each day and read every 1st portion or Aliyah Rishon this year) 11am 
6. Take my one hour relaxing walk daily or combine it with an errand run 
7. my book on Black-Jewish cooperation in DC from the founding of the Federal City up to today 
8. NaNoWriMo 
9. Voice practice and warm ups and excersice (espe. before this audition) somehow, I am finding myself exhausted by 5pm each day.

(Duh!  Now, it is obvious, but back then it was not…)
Read, Write, Dream, Teach !
 ShiraDest
19 February, 12016 HE